Why I Got Married

When I met my husband, I found him to be a little creepy.  In no way, did I ever think that I would fall for a man in old man leather tennis shoes.  But somehow, over time he grew on me, and I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. 

The last two years have been a real struggle.  My husband lost his business, went through a bout of depression, and was unemployed.  Today, things are better, I don't like the job he has, but it does help pay the bills and he is home more often which is always a good thing.  We both quit smoking and have put on the pounds, so that will need to be addressed very soon otherwise there will be no swimsuit season for me.

I have often wondered why I ever wanted to get married.  I am independent, don't mind being alone, love to be free to do what I please....so what was missing?? I guess it was having someone else in my life that loved me for me that wasn't part of my family tree.  He has been a blessing, even though these last two years have been extremely hard.  I am learning to ease up, let him take on the role of disciplining the kids, which has helped me a ton.  I stress out a lot because my step kids weren't raised in a so called "normal" household which isn't a bad thing, it just brings on more challenges.

I cried a lot last night when I told my husband how I felt about his health, the kids, and my life... but in the end, I felt better and knew why I got married to him.  Marriage is hard, but living without the person I love would be impossible.

Why do they keep lying?

I try to think back to when I was a kid and what would happen to me if I lied to my parents.  Would I get the "wooden spoon" treatment, a smack across the face or the "wait until your father gets home' speech, which I really hated. 

These days, it seems like kids are lying more and it makes me so mad!  I can't seem to wrap my head around why  my step kids have chose to use lying as a form of communication when they were hurt so much growing up by someone who lied to them.

I asked my stepdaughter if the hair on her neck stood up when she lied, "It does" she said, so I know she is aware of what she is doing, but it is like she doesn't care and is happy to go on about her business.  I told her to remember that not all pain can be felt like a rug burn, and sometimes internal pain can hurt even worse.

I am really hoping that she and her brother grow out of this because it has been really hard on the family and the teachers at school.  I still am a horrible liar, my parents never threatened me or any of my sisters, we just always knew better.

Fingers Crossed

So, the kids have been in school for a couple of months now that means it’s time for fall break and Parent Teacher Conferences.  Remember how I mentioned that my stepdaughter has a tough time deciding whether or not to tell the truth?  Well, is appears that she is playing the same game at schools with her teachers.

 My husband and I had a twenty minute conversation with her teacher about how our daughter likes to tell BIG stories about her homework, and about the so-called lack of support she gets from us at home. Thankfully, her teacher is smarter than the average bear, and wants to help us end this destructive behavior.  So, instead of going home and giving her a tongue lashing, my husband and I played it cool.  It will be interesting to hear what she has to say once she is confronted.  I hope it helps because I won't tolerate lying nor will I tolerate her blaming everyone else for her wrongdoing.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed on this one.

My journey as a stepmother, one grey hair at a time

I am 38 years old, been married about two years now, and am the proud stepmother of two children. I have a 15 year old stepson that is pretty sure he knows just about everything, and a 10 year old stepdaughter that can't decide if the truth is really worth telling.  For the most part, they are great kids that are full of well, let's say surprise.

Trust me, my family is anything but boring and there are times when I don’t even believe what just happened.  From the crazy tales of how things got broken, to why for the umpteenth time a curfew was missed, and my personal favorite, why their mom wasn't able to make visitation, I continue to press on, hoping one day that love, honesty and respect will prevail.

 I created this blog so I had somewhere to vent, tell my funny stories, and reach-out to other stepparents like me.  Oh I see another grey hair, wonder where that came from.